And the Martians muse ...

Greetings Blogville,
Please permit me to introduce my blog-guest: Lawwyy. The entry below is one written by a young male friend, as he puts down his thoughts on what he imagines (or tries to) to be the musings of a young female a.k.a Venusian. Do enjoy the read and be sure to rate the write up in your comments, be you male or female. Here goes!

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"A man thanks God for not making him a woman and the woman simply thanks God for making her as she is" –Julia Neuberger

In Man is a continuous search of the why’s and how’s of everything around him, I love asking questions and getting the right answers is most rewarding. “What do women want?” is one question that comes readily along and it’s either a question that has never been answered or should never be answered neither does it get old. An interesting question I read off old heads facial expressions, I hear younger married or unmarried men repeat even little boys who perhaps cant express it in this rhetorical question. In fact Id say it’s a man’s favourite question spoken or not.

When I came about the question it more than satisfied something in me, it just kind of soothe the agonizing times you wondered why women never saw things your way, a way that seemed most rational or the times you couldn’t process their actions and the horrible times they just wont you let you have a straight answer. I love my mother and I grew up with a most beautiful sister but nothing on earth compares with the torture I go through when am not at peace with either of them and the bliss when we are on a same page. …so when a venusian turned martian threw the challenge at me I instantly thought NO! never, like a mindset I ve come to terms with myself consciously or unconsciously that I could never be able to reason like a woman would. Nevertheless I took on the challenge to see how much I could, so here goes…

Over the next paragraphs, I’m a 27 year old lady heading the Lagos branch of life gateway insurance. Below is thoughts in my mind over a 30 minute period.

When are we boarding this damn plane? Can’t wait to see Dad, its been what? 5 months? Pheew!!! I ve not missed Mum in a bit, to her its like marriage is I am made for (sigh). Oh great, that’s my flight, hope I get the good seat by the window, dang! who’s this bloke hmmm… is he looking here? all this men, they stare at you and size you up like they want to buy market, lets see what he is up to sha. Good just like I prayed for, a seat by the window and our bloke is walking here, God let him sit right by my side…oh well, he’s wearing a ring, like they say all the good ones are taken…and who the hell is this scruffy fugly guy cutting me eye?

I should be flying my own plane nonsense and don’t you dare sit here…oh jeez like he heard me, a courteous smile and hello in return that’s where it ends, scruffy guys just don’t do it for me. All this boys, guys or whatever they are called this days, they ve all the time in the world and they are never serious or should I say afraid.

I need a man, a real man, a grown man in all aspects am tired of baby sitting and those inadequate feelings or do I say I need a man like my father? Take Chidi for instance he says this and that, shows he cares and all but getting really serious is like some waterloo. Kenneth is just his mothers pet, mother said this mother said that…Femi is just a trust fund baby, I tell him daddy’s money cant make a man out of you. Chidi is somewhat promising but I don’t know jor, he is too broke to think of marrying soon. The least I trust of them is pastor Layi, he keeps toasting me and quoting scriptures but I somehow can see through him even apart from the hear says he seems a gold digger. I cant kill myself jare. I’m just going to have to wait and like they say good things come to those who wait but mehn time is going o, all my friends are getting married or are in a serious relationship even my younger cousin is getting married next month. I cant kill myself jare abi? I should take a quick nap its been one kin’ day like that and I hope this scruffy puppy respects himself.


So here’s my submission of thoughts in a young lady’s mind, thoughts anyone?

“The woman” a gateway of life, “a woman” an idea. You are man-Lawwyy.

In the News: Wanderlust and Photoblogging

Trying my hands at new things and finding new passions, I have started a photo blog howbeit with my amateur skills and an equally amateur camera. Seems like fun so far, and I think it's a good way to keep an e-photo album. Who knows where this would/could take us? But right now, it's all for the fun while I'm on vacation.

Here's the link: http://amoge.shutterchance.com/
Do leave a comment please.

Yours Truly,
Miss Balance.

p.s. Would be back with updates.

Lightupnigeria and Independence Day

01/10/2009 02:25:49

“The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us, the living, rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us that government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” - Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Yesterday I was at the #lightupnigeria event which took place at TerraKulture, Victoria Island, Lagos. For any Nigerian on twitter who has at least seven* tweets, this simple combination of three words with a hash prefix has transformed from a simple twitter trend to a vein carrying movement with roots in the Nigerian youth. Lightupnigeria is a movement advocating better power supply in Nigeria. It started on the 14th of July 2009 and targets this advocacy at all stakeholders in the power sector using mass media in its varied forms. It believes that a structured, moderated national dialogue can go a long way to make the issue a thing of the past. It believes it can bring that critical mass together using social networks, both offline and online.

To this coin as with every other, there are two sides. We, being the universality of citizens speaking the same tongue, say we want development in every sense of the word. When we say or tweet these words, we show our frustration and impatience at the stagnancy of the state of things; erratic power supply, sporadic educational system at every level from primary to tertiary, and poor living conditions in general. We say we have had about enough of substandard living. We are not necessarily asking for Utopia, we just want to be heard and have our basic needs attended to. On the other side of the coin, we mean that even against all hope, we still would keep believing. In the words of Thomas Paine, “We fight not to enslave, but to set a country free, and to make room upon the earth for honest men to live in.” Even though we may seem lost today, angry and deprived at the “good ol’days” of yesterday, we must keep hope alive. There will come a tomorrow, our own tomorrow that has taken so long to arrive but would finally be ours. However, we will and must do more than waiting or wishing and put our minds, hearts and hands to work today, bruising them if we may, so that descendants would live the substantial Nigerian dream which we would have built.

As the future Nigeria launched its fifth season yesterday, the lightupnigeria team was well seated in the agenda, represented by likeminded and fun loving twitter users. In my opinion, it was a great collaboration and of course I tweeted the thought. I must say I was impressed with the turn out of tweeps (twitter users) at the event; Impressed because my expectation was not dampened. I expected that my Naija people would as usual, identify a loophole, come up with creative solutions and of course have fun while at it. Cheers to everyone that made it there spirit, soul and body or at least one of the three, tweeting, supporting and retweeting from every #lightupnigeria location in the universe. May #GodBlessNigeria.

Once again, it is that time of the year when we turn the working day into a public holiday as the age counter increments. Our Nigeria is 49 today and it’s expected that we are either lambasting our political leaders or celebrating our success stories and achievements on personal and national levels. Whatever sides we take, we must realise that we all have roles to play as leaders and followers in turning dreams to reality. I’ve asked myself, “What have I done for my country?” Are you asking the same question too? “What can I do for my country?” I will continue to #lightupnigeria in tweets and deeds, and be an active contributor to this change we so often hear about until it becomes physical to me.
“Let our object be our country, our whole country, and nothing but our country.” - Daniel Webster (1782 - 1852).
Keep the #Lightupnigeria flame burning. Happy Independence Nigeria!


Miss Balance.


For more details, please visit the lightupnigeria site.
* Why I chose seven? After the first introductory rants about “What is this twitter about?” you would then update with a totally random status just to monitor the mechanism, and by the seventh you would have returned from your tweet-hiatus feeling more familiar with the #lightupnigeria trend and looking forward to your 100th tweet.

01/10/2009 12:41:28

Two years in mind; Paul 'Sax' Obayomi.

I don't exactly have a poetic piece to put up, not because I can't but I just want to write something straight from my heart, unhindered by the need to be lyrical and 'affectatious'.

It's been two years since my friend passed. He was the true definition of a friend, friendship personified. He always encouraged, inspired and at the same time made you laugh. A confidante, brother, he knew a lot about everything. You could talk to him about careers, music (he played the saxophone), family troubles, academics, faith ... A grounded all rounder.

Maybe I'll continue writing this later ... because it hurts right now.

'Brides' Groom!

“There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, you can suffer for her, or you can turn her into literature” - Lawrence Durrell (1912 - 1990)

What’s the one difference between guys and girls, or men and women if you like? It’s all in a bath! Guys, we know use one all-purpose, multi-functional bar soap only per bath time. Well, if at all things have changed with the millennium bug or 21st century, there just might be two specialised soaps. We women, on the other hand use a minimum of three ‘washes’ in the space of a bath. The (very) average woman uses three cleansing agents per bath. Personally speaking, I out of a very modest lifestyle switch between four and five especially because some soaps cannot be compromised. Modus operandi follows below. DIY!

It begins with the hair. Sometimes we decide to treat our hair ‘in-house’, probably after taking out hair extensions yourself. So, we begin with (1) Shampoo which is accompanied by (2) Conditioner. The procedure moves on to (3) Facial scrub and then to (4) Body wash which could be either bath gel, cream bar or bar soap. It might (or not) interest you to know that steps (3) and (4) are not ‘marriable.’ It’s been drummed into our ears for a while now, that bar soap is a facial no-no. Then there’s (5) a ‘private’ wash for the ‘sacral region.’ This one’s not an old wives’ tale; it’s against medical advice to intermarry steps (4) and (5). We clean our feet with (6) Pedi-wash or a similar whatchamacallit, (that’s what I call it) because we don’t want to use our body sponge on our feet. The flowchart terminates with water to level them all. *Insert song by Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, “Water e no get enemy.”

It’s a loop which reiterates day and night with slight differences or additions and is also similar to the flowcharts for both body drying and applying body-lotions. I’m sure there are tens of steps I don’t even know but I can only preach what I practise. Talk about WOMEN’S GROOMING! Do grooms groom like this? We women also have the privilege and exclusive rights to use natural honey as hair conditioners, cucumbers as astringents; you know nature at our beck and call. What? Oh no, I don’t envy the guys one bit and no, Beyonce, I won’t do an “If I were a boy” duet with you. It was Simone de Beauvoir, the grandmother of feminism who said, “To be a woman, if not a defect, is at least a peculiarity,” and there’s a truth and a half in the twisted statement. If I could remove the stigma from the word, I would, but until that day I will accept the label gladly, and everything that comes with this form given me by nature: faults and flaws, vagaries and achievements. I sure love this ‘simple’ life of being a woman. I raise my glass to womenfolk. Cheers!

“It would be futile to attempt to fit women into a masculine pattern of attitudes, skills, and abilities and disastrous to force them to suppress their specifically female characteristics...by keeping up the pretense that there are no differences between the sexes.” - Arianna Huffington.

Written right after a bath and still in my towel! 28/08/2009 13:15:51

An Inconvenient Truth

“No pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage-ground of truth...and to see the errors, and wanderings, and mists, and tempests, in the vale below.” - "Of Truth” by Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626).

If truth be told, she’s dealing with this thing called truth. Maybe it has a moniker known as Reality. The more you know of a truth, the less you realise you really know or the more you realise you really don’t know. The more she examines the truths of marriage, she realises she really might not want it. Does it even help that she’s not ‘seeing’ any guy at the moment – maybe he would have convinced her otherwise if she saw/gave him benefits of the doubt.

Lately and ever since, she has been surrounded with too many case studies and examples. An uncle of hers got married barely six years ago. Wife goes over to her in-laws to take refuge. Even in her pregnant state. The other day, she had visible teeth marks on her arm. Not love bites but fury bites cum tattoos. The guy beats her to a pulp every other day. She is not even 30 yet, got three kids and this aggressive behaviour is already taking its toll on the toddlers. They won’t stop hitting each other. Heart wrenching. She won’t even bother talking about her own father because he holds the sceptre. He doesn’t get physical but his words are almost palpable enough to break bones. Her brothers, howbeit unmarried are hardly doing differently, even though she can’t fault her mother’s upbringing. She sees traces of hard work in them, as well as traits of violence. Heck, even she like the rest of her sisters has been a victim of their wrath. They have been slapped and hit with objects and words on like two occasions.
She’s not proud of this trait displayed by the men in her family, from her dad to uncles, brothers and cousins. Hard working, yes but they all got visible streaks of violence. She’s reoriented herself reading books and attending seminars but her fear is simple: she can’t vouch for anyone else. She’s barely curious to see for herself if all men are the same, her interest’s waning and she knows it. She’s losing grasp of theories because being too much of a pragmatist, realism sets in. Even her mum is afraid to admit to what she sees in the girl’s eyes when she talks. She hardly talks. Maybe she should stop thinking and just believe. You know, just swallow and not chew.

Looking from several vantage points and considering a myriad of reasons including Tribe, her own family, people and tribe push her to activism and active tribalism. What could be more paradoxical? But it is in fact, true. It’s going to take God and a series of good examples that she can see for herself to change her mind. Now she wonders about this Balance thing. To her there’s nothing more fulfilling than living a balanced life: spirit, soul and body & career, home and faith in the right proportions. It’s something she’s dreamt of and always wanted, and has lived with the idea for as long as she can remember. ‘The Idea.’ She’s wondering if there’s more to Balance than being an idea. How is she to be a balanced life enthusiast when even she is yet to buy the idea? Why does she have Ms. Winfrey for a role model and her ‘lopsided’ life makes so much sense to her?

She's hit rock bottom and is at her wits’ end; knowledge and emotion wise. She's never needed God’s counsel more, not because she's not scarred. She's scared.

Steve Madden and a myriad of arbitrary events

Trying to recover from this blogging hiatus, even as I tender my apologies. Life's been happening to me and I've got my plate full trying to figure out what direction to head out. Life after Uni has been a blend of naivete and boredom with a splash of curiousity equalling genuine novice. Meanwhile, here's an abridged version of the order and series of events that have I have featured in:

Random:

• Girls day out (Sistahz Inc)
  

• French Classes at Alliance Francaise
  

• Applications for postgraduate study

• Dental troubles

• Women Empowerment articles and books

• Cinema trips: “The Proposal”
  

• Get candid opinion from friends

• Beach trips with family

Unrehearsed:

1. Mum questions my relationship status!
2. Ran into a guy I blogged about.
3. Rain! Rain! Rain!
4. First (and LAST!!!) Moluwe ride experience
5. Got a call from a publisher.
6. Michael Jackson passed on.
   

Plans in progress:

• Attend Taruwa
• Attend Book Reading event
• Meet Chimamanda Adichie
• Register for Women in Engineering conference
• Meet with best friend from high school
• NYSC!
  
• Driving school
• Relocate
• Stay informed on Telecommunications industry
  
• Read biographies
  
• Complete first chapter of the book
• Be on "Don't forget the lyrics Nigeria!"

LOL! This the state of my 'Steve Maddens.' Classic! Will be back with details.

p.s Those Red Devils however are not Steve Maddens but Christian Louboutins!