Thursday, June 4, 2015

Short Stories and Small Talk

Looking for a word to describe how I feel now that I am finally done with my graduate program. Great does not even cut it!

So small story:

I was walking to the parking deck after work today and a ton of things danced around in my mind. Earlier this week, while anticipating the my final exam, I had a series of flashbacks and highlights of this year, and through the entire eighteen months of my program. A not-so-tasteful experience I had in February played back, as though to remind me that not all the highlights were rosy. I cringed but commended myself for showing strength even when it might have been easier to crash. But strong is normal, ask Chimamanda. I took a stand then and made up my mind that I would never look back.

Flash forward to this afternoon, when this same mental picture made its way to the front of my memory's museum (borrowed from Kanye). And again, I felt anger all over again, and got defensive. My walls were already back up, fortified. The traffic lights changed, and I crossed Peachtree Center @ Andrew Young Blvd, with my molten thoughts solidifying, "I am not going to care about anyone that does not care about me ..."

"Did you have a good day today?"
Some backpack guy in a grey shirt, a green helmet was riding his bike slowly beside me.
"I was asking if you had a good day today."
That was random, but a thoughtful gesture regardless.
"Yes, I did. Thanks for asking. How about you? LOOK OUT!"
The cyclist was talking to me and was about to ride into a building. He went on to tell me about his day and wished me a safe drive home. And with that he was on his way and out of sight in minutes.

I walked up to my car and tried to pick my thoughts up from where I left off, but that didn't work.  Instead what dropped in my mind was, "A little more faith."
And I was smiling.