Monday, September 19, 2016

30 Rock

So many epiphanies over the last few days. I really like this phase of life. Even as I had stumbled on some truths on Saturday, I was in teaching at my Sunday class, and out of the mouth of babes, I got validation. Pure serendipity!

The Girl and Her Chairman

My uncle wrote a biography for my dad's tribute, which I just read, and it occurred to me that my dad fought in the Nigerian Civil War and he never, not for once, shared his war stories and experience with us his children. I have a childhood memory of one monochrome picture of him lying shirtless on his chest, with a cast around his waist, and my uncle George - his half brother, stood by him. That was the closest I came. But it was my mum who kept these pictures and would give us an account of his life in the military. Her version lacked detail, I doubt he gave her details too, and somewhere in my mind, I held on to Adichie's Half Of A Yellow Sun as the missing story. But one thing I remember mum always said on the topic was, "War? War is a bad thing o! Nobody prays for war." Now I ask myself why I waited for my dad to pass away before realizing I had all the time in the world to ask what his half of a yellow sun days were like. Just putting myself in his shoes for a moment, it must have made him feel miserable deep down to have a family and yet be a stranger to them. Not being able to share your self with your significant other and children must have led to thousands of internalized eruptions. Maybe that's part of why he was hardly home, even when he was not traveling for work. Quite brave to be happy on the outside, and heavy-hearted at the same time. All the time. He didn't have to walk alone. Maybe we could have worked this out, now we'll never know. With not much left to question, my gratitude goes up regardless.

The Lady and Her Chairman

Going about my activities this evening, and dancing in my room to Alowo Ma Jaiye, I bust a move exactly like my dad would in his good old days. I realize, giggle, and keep on dancing like him. I miss him. Sleep sweet Chairman.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

On Defensive Driving

It's about a year since I took a defensive driving class, and I've had no tickets since then. I also stopped wearing my make up in the car - attempting to multitask while driving. And I almost never touch my phone. Let's just say that the 'almost' bit covers really rare Foursquare check-ins, and Shazams. I have also slept more this year, and have greatly reduced my chances of being a human hazard on wheels.

Knowledge is good!

Saturday, September 10, 2016

When the student is ready

I just had my mind blown. For years now, I've only known the first half of this saying by Lao Tzu, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear.”

This changes a lot, if not everything.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Cabin Fever

Cabin fever can be nauseating.

On some days when I work from home, I usually need to compensate for a shortage of necessary human contact and I'd end up taking a walk after work to just be outdoors. On most days it works.

Today, I was going through similar motions, when I realized it was not cabin fever. After all, I had started off the day with yoga at the gym, met up with coworkers at a work picnic during lunch and then resumed working with remote teammates till close of business. That should have been enough fix needed, only it wasn't. I had hosted a friend for a little over a week, and he was finally traveling back home. Saying goodbye was the real problem. Within our short time, Mr. O turned out to be really good company and our energies fused well - generally fluid, open-hearted, mellow and genuine. Had been out of touch for a while, and this time we clicked like old friends, shared good food and deep convos, met each other's friends and enjoyed the company with larger groups.

Naturally, saying goodbye today at the end of the visit came with mixed feelings. My "withdrawal" already crept up two days early after he talked about his withdrawal. *Sigh* What a life!

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Family plus one

Got a niece today! My sister had a baby in the wee hours of today. I am an aunty!!!
Thank you Lord :)

Monday, September 5, 2016

Thoughts on After the Hype: Zuckerberg in Lagos

Heads Up: this is an enjambment.

Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg was in Lagos early this week. He talked about Naija Jollof, he ate snail, entertained Q&A sessions ... but aside all of that, what is the real purpose and impact of this visit?

You know, I was all happy go lucky about this until Jolaade called my attention to the movement in India. Had new levels of respect for India, and felt panic if not horror. Why are we doing this, Nigeria? Why aren't we rejecting this too?! Surface level. Someone ripped the veil off my eyes.

However, Zuckerberg emphasized that the company's plans will not come to a halt. He said Facebook has already developed other technologies, like a fleet of solar-powered aircraft called Aquila, to bring the internet to more regions. He said the planes will beam broadband across areas about 60 miles wide and stay in the air for up to 90 days at a time. In fact in July this year, the company said it completed its first full-scale flight test.

"We remain committed to our mission of connecting everyone, and we will keep working until everyone has the opportunities this satellite would have provided," said Zuckerberg, who is currently in Africa

What is Internet.Org

Who benefits?
If you are not paying for it you are the product || Free Basics.
There is no free lunch in life, not even in Freetown. Blab all you want but this is not about philanthropy. You don't pay with money, but Facebook gets paid twice. You give up privacy and pay them with your precious PI. They resell and get paid by third party companies. This is an initiative with a lot at stake. I agree with Guardian's terminology as "landgrabbing" feel like t

The Problem

The Government
What is the government saying
In the Nigeria I know, the government hardly steps up to meet needs. Public Private partnerships. The private sector will be ressponsible for stepping in to fill gaps that the government is not capable of.
There is the question of motives, when it comes rto this facebook matter.

Facebook should not be the one providing this service tho. Noooooo. But say things end up going that way (noooooooo, who is the gatekeeper here). Regulatory bodies to vet out the content here. Who is looking out for our best interests? In the best interests of the Nigerians people. Naija don suffer. Chai. in other countries
- Save the Internet. Internet Freedom Foundation.
Declined: India

Nigerians, hear word.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Haiku: Dead On Arrival

Trying my mind on a haiku, and it got dark so quickly. Here goes:

Aching in an affair that's a still birth
Yet still blowing candles today
Because pregnancy loss is still a birthday

Morning Jolt

It's a thin line between taking a morning shower and grabbing a cup of joe, after all aren't we always looking for a morning jolt? A shower does it for me. I'll have a coffee for recreation, not as part of a routine stimulus conditioning. I'm also wary of consumerism for the most part. But what do I know?

Advocates for Sleep

What do Arianna Huffington and Jason Fried have in common? They are advocates for sleep, and have stirred me in the direction that made me consider the importance of sleep and what happens when you don't get enough. And according to the American Psychological Association, lost productivity, decision fatigue, wasted medical resources, and a greatly reduced quality of life, among many others are some of the costs to society. Read more about sleep on APA and Talk About Sleep

And now, I'm going to get some sleep myself and snooze into Labor Day!

Fun facts about Time and Money

I got really intrigued as I wrote the finishing bits of my last post a few minutes ago. Intrigued as I thought about how my Ibo name means Time, and my sister's means Money. Other real names: Victoria and Stephanie, and fictional names: Venus and Serena. We are also the fifth and sixth of our's mother's children, in other words, we're literally 5 and 6.

Easily, this triggered a childhood memory and song called Time is Money, by Mike Okri. So much humor right now :)

Cheers to my sister, Steph!

Love, Time and Pixie Dust

It's that time of life, man.

My homeboy-best-friend is getting married. I'm stoked! He'd sent me ring choices some months ago, and last week he went ahead to propose to his girl in Dubai, while they went snorkeling. So fresh!
As life would have it, my path split geographically from some of my bosom friends at a really crucial point. I had only just relocated/migrated right around the time the bulk of them were settling into serious relationships and getting married. 3 of my 5 homeboys got married during this time, and my missing those 3 weddings was agonizing, to say the least. These guys have been and will always be more than brothers to me. Having said that, I will do everything within my ability to be present at his wedding. And hopefully the fifth one's too :)

So three men down, two to go, with one of them being chronically single and the other T-Bar, who is the closest to me, now engaged. This comes with some realities, like T-Bar will be giving up his "boys hostel" bachelor pad soon, and our combined hobo behavior at the hostel (suya night, midnight karaoke, shots over heart to heart round tables and other "unscrupulous" activities) must soon come to an end. Deep sigh! 

Right around the same time, one of my best girls and BFF is going steady with a guy who's crazy about her, and vice versa. Love it! Theirs is going so strong that I'm kind of expecting long term plans and commitments any time soon. The type of plans that start with bells and bridesmaids duties. I can feel it coming in the air tonight. Yes, Phil Collins, that also comes with the reality that she is no longer available for random bants and spontaneous travel with me. Deep sigh!

See where this is going? Seasons. The times of life are changing and my inner/most circle is re-centering before my eyes. Our worlds are gravitating towards new orbits, shifting from solitary to family. Observing these trends and events of friends making the jump and growing up, from my vantage point makes me feel like Peter Pan now. My lifelong partners "in crime" are finding their life partners, and the what if's start to trickle in my mind. Cynicism aside, I wonder what direction we/I would go if I never hop on this train. Not that I don't want to, it's just that I am Amoge* (quite remarkable in this moment, that my name means Time) and my timeline is not there yet. What if I stay in Neverland, in terms of finding that proverbial true love and living "happily ever after?" Two things are off the top of my head: One - my mother must not stumble on this post. Second, if that's my path, then it is my path, right? Time will tell.

Image Credits: Barefoot Whispers blog

[Updated] Added link to older post: How Time Flies

Thursday, September 1, 2016


Walahi my job has made me a gistophus* needing to keep ears and eyes on the ground at all times. Everything even remotely related to any client I work with or even otherwise is my business. 
Funny how it's so different from my personal life, where I like to mind my own business.
C'est la vie.

*my friend Arin coined that term for her chatty sister and my friend who absolutely loves and lives to hear and share stories of people's affairs. Count on her to always have the latest gist.