Sunday, November 27, 2016

Pretty Wings

It took 30 years
For this wounded child
To see Life and Love as teachers
As I cycled over time
Lessons were tested, repeated, revisited
Relationships came full circle
When I finally understood

That hurting people hurt people
And I had to let all the hurt out
Until then I kept hurting my lovers
Bamz came and lit up the last trace
Cracked the shell one last time
Before it broke
(T)his work was complete
And when he left, I learnt to fly
And for that I will always, always love him

Hindsight is 20/20
I could be sad that we ended
And sadness and sense of loss I did feel
Or I could choose to be
Be happy, grateful, blessed
That he (and all of them before) happened to me
And that even though I missed him
Everything I did
From fighting a head-over-heart war
To choosing myself in the end
Was just what I was supposed to do

I would make my way back to my heart
But not after repressing it and putting my head first
And I finally learnt a hard lesson here
Where pain was waiting
As was growth
And like never before,
I was receptive and found so much healing
Best of all, Bamz said I helped him fly

They say when the student is ready, the master will appear
That when the student is truly ready, the master disappears
And I agree
That the master disappears, so the student can be tested
She puts what she's learnt to practice
Through pain and uncertainty
The student grows, steadies, and repeats until
The student becomes a/the master

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