Saturday, December 24, 2016

Versions and Peels I

In retrospect, when she thinks about him
and how much she thinks he loved her,
she verbally apologizes, with no one else listening
"I am sorry. I'm so sorry." 
Sorry that she was not ready 
To match
To understand him or herself even
That when he came, 
He met a version of her that was almost but not there yet
And all the while he stood plainly in front of her
She missed their timing
And her heart opened a little too late
"I’m so sorry," she says,
"That you loved with a version of me that I needed to leave."

And when she lets this out
Her remorse flows into gratitude
Thankful that he was part of her 
Sent to heal and test her process
And if this was his purpose, 
Then it’s okay he’s no longer here
His, our work was done.

And then she feels curious
What was her purpose to him?
She wonders, did he need healing too? 
God, please, she gasps, and hopes she didn’t hurt him
That her brokenness didn't taint his outlook on love.

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